Tuesday, January 20, 2015
I sit up in bed. Ugh, I have to go back to school today after a glorious long weekend! I am just about to get out of bed when I realize how wet I am. Wet, and sticky. I wipe sweat from my forehead. I then realize that every inch of my body is covered in sweat. I take a whiff of my armpit and almost faint from the horrible stench. Luckily my pillows catch me.
Then, my head starts pounding. I start coughing uncontrollably, and I can barely breathe. My skin is still slick with sweat. I decide to suck it up and get ready for school. Then, I see my alarm clock, and it reads:
“Oh, $%#@!” I think to myself.
Then, my head starts pounding some more and my stomach starts to hurt. I go into my parents’ room to tell them of this recent update. Barely able to whisper, I say, “Mommy, my head hurts, I can’t talk, I can barely breathe, and I feel like somebody poured a combination of lukewarm water and maple syrup all over me while I was sleeping.”
My parents respond, in unison, “Me too.”
“Can you check on Gabe?” My mom asks. We knew Gabe was going to stay home from school today because the day before, his asthma started acting up and he had a fever.
“Okay.” I splutter.
As expected, Gabe is pretty much in the exact same condition he was in yesterday, coughing so much he could barely talk, complaining of headaches, yet somehow still managing to watch YouTube without moaning in pain.
At this point, I decide to take a shower because I hate being sweaty and I hadn’t showered in three days.
Over the course of the rest of the day, I:
- actually did my science and English homework
- drank 5 cups of tea with honey
- probably took 3 different medicines
- consumed 2 bowls of chicken noodle soup (a Jew’s gotta do what a Jew’s gotta do)
- watched almost the entire fourth season of The Simpsons
- watched 2 or 3 movies
- read about 75% of my book in one sitting.
Then I fell asleep…zzzzzzzz
Tuesday, January 20, 2015, 10:30 p.m.
I’ve been tossing and turning and coughing up phlegm for the past hour. I reach a break in coughing, only to realize that my throat is completely clogged with mucus. I can’t swallow or breathe through my mouth, my stomach hurts, and
*insert violent puking sounds here*
Okay, I only puked for, like, five minutes. But anyway, I had to go out in the middle of the night IN MY PAJAMAS (I was wearing my fluffy PJ pants but no coat, hat, gloves, shoes, or socks) to deposit my barf bucket on the porch, and it was probably only about 35 or 40 degrees Fahrenheit outside (which isn’t that cold, but still, I’M SICK SO I CAN COMPLAIN).
I went back to bed.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
I wake up at around 8:30, and, surprise, surprise, my family and I are only about 20% better than we were yesterday. While I probably could have tried to go to school, I still felt sick, and here is a direct quote from my mother:
“I can’t remember the last time I’ve been in this much pain.”
Wednesday was almost identical to Tuesday.
Things I did on Wednesday:
- Watched most of season 5 of The Simpsons
- Watched Dance Moms
- Watched Child Genius (an obscure Lifetime reality series about 8-to-12-year-olds who can memorize decks of 52 cards correctly) (it sounds lame but it’s really not)
- Finished the book I started a few days before
- Ate more chicken soup
- Drank more tea
- Watched about 50 episodes of the Fifth Harmony AwesomenessTV Takeover on YouTube
- Took a 2-hour nap then fell asleep 3 hours later
I wore the same PJs for, like, 3 days in a row. I did not leave my house from Monday afternoon until Thursday morning, and I still can’t really talk. I was really cranky both Thursday and today at school. Oh well, at least my headaches are gone.